You may want to scroll down to "Swope family update" to read from the beginning of the story....
It has been a very surreal day. No calls. No showings. My faith feels weak. Things happened today that drew my eyes off the Lord and onto circumstances that could bring discouragement.
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
Our agent emailed to say our listing had somehow not gone into the system. Then JJ discovered online that they are having a big open house this weekend in the home we have a contract on. Then I drove by it later today and they had taken off the "Under Contract" sleeve they'd put over the sign. When it's contingent they don't usually list it "Under Contract" but they had put that sleeve on this week and we saw that blessing as God protecting it from being bought out from under us.
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
For the past few weeks I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to move. Once the newness of the home wore off, reality set in. I have wavered between wanting to stay, wanting to sell, wanting to add on to our home, wanting to move to a newer neighborhood, wanting to wait we see how many children we'll adopt...wanting to hide and not want for a little while. Wanting to believe but afraid to be disappointed.
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
At times I want to move. Then something reminds me of the memories we have here and I want to stay. Packing 10 years of life and memories into boxes makes me sad. Then I cleaned out closets and reorganized every room and wondered why we were moving. We have plenty of space...at least for the four of us. Then I remember our adoption and try to figure out where everyone will sleep and where we'll put the furniture we have if we convert our bonus/teen room to a bedroom. An hour later I drive by the home we found and pray for God to save it for us.
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
Last week I hesitantly prayed that this wouldn't work out but then quickly whispered that I wanted it to be if it was God's best. I don't know if I am protecting my hopes from being dashed or just finding contentment in being here in this wonderful home God gave to us. Is it selfish to want more when so many others have so much less? If so, why would God have lead us this far?
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
Finally I prayed that God would clearly lead through JJ. He's been frustrated and confused by my wavering at times. The next morning he came back from running and knelt by my bedside. He spoke with with confidence I hadn't heard in a while. "Renee, I went running and stopped by the house and prayed. I sat on the porch and looked at the stones and then out on the land in front of it. It's the most beautiful view that goes on for miles since it sits on a hill. It's the closest we'll get to having a mountain house in Charlotte (another dream of ours). Renee, I know that God wants us to go for it. I don't know what will happen but I do know that David didn't hesitantly walk towards Goliath - he ran. He confidently went after what God had called him to conquer. God wants us to go for it with all of our hearts!"
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
I knew that day that God was leading through my husband, and there is no safer place for me to be than under my husband's spiritual leadership as He pursues God's heart. So today, I am remembering. I am reflecting on the hand prints of God around the "mug" of my heart where HeBrews my faith. I want to walk in confidence believing He will complete what He has started. I want to run after this Goliath and trust God to give us what He already has determined in the plans He has for us, no matter what they are!
Lord, I believe!
It has been a very surreal day. No calls. No showings. My faith feels weak. Things happened today that drew my eyes off the Lord and onto circumstances that could bring discouragement.
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
Our agent emailed to say our listing had somehow not gone into the system. Then JJ discovered online that they are having a big open house this weekend in the home we have a contract on. Then I drove by it later today and they had taken off the "Under Contract" sleeve they'd put over the sign. When it's contingent they don't usually list it "Under Contract" but they had put that sleeve on this week and we saw that blessing as God protecting it from being bought out from under us.
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
For the past few weeks I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to move. Once the newness of the home wore off, reality set in. I have wavered between wanting to stay, wanting to sell, wanting to add on to our home, wanting to move to a newer neighborhood, wanting to wait we see how many children we'll adopt...wanting to hide and not want for a little while. Wanting to believe but afraid to be disappointed.
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
At times I want to move. Then something reminds me of the memories we have here and I want to stay. Packing 10 years of life and memories into boxes makes me sad. Then I cleaned out closets and reorganized every room and wondered why we were moving. We have plenty of space...at least for the four of us. Then I remember our adoption and try to figure out where everyone will sleep and where we'll put the furniture we have if we convert our bonus/teen room to a bedroom. An hour later I drive by the home we found and pray for God to save it for us.
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
Last week I hesitantly prayed that this wouldn't work out but then quickly whispered that I wanted it to be if it was God's best. I don't know if I am protecting my hopes from being dashed or just finding contentment in being here in this wonderful home God gave to us. Is it selfish to want more when so many others have so much less? If so, why would God have lead us this far?
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
Finally I prayed that God would clearly lead through JJ. He's been frustrated and confused by my wavering at times. The next morning he came back from running and knelt by my bedside. He spoke with with confidence I hadn't heard in a while. "Renee, I went running and stopped by the house and prayed. I sat on the porch and looked at the stones and then out on the land in front of it. It's the most beautiful view that goes on for miles since it sits on a hill. It's the closest we'll get to having a mountain house in Charlotte (another dream of ours). Renee, I know that God wants us to go for it. I don't know what will happen but I do know that David didn't hesitantly walk towards Goliath - he ran. He confidently went after what God had called him to conquer. God wants us to go for it with all of our hearts!"
Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.
I knew that day that God was leading through my husband, and there is no safer place for me to be than under my husband's spiritual leadership as He pursues God's heart. So today, I am remembering. I am reflecting on the hand prints of God around the "mug" of my heart where HeBrews my faith. I want to walk in confidence believing He will complete what He has started. I want to run after this Goliath and trust God to give us what He already has determined in the plans He has for us, no matter what they are!
Lord, I believe!
17 Comments:
Renee....I have been exactly where you are right now. Long story...too long for a comment, but we had to sell our "dream home" 3 years ago...and the story of God leading...unbelievable even how our house sold - a real God Story...but God provided. I doubted. I wavered. I wondered what on earth we were doing. I left behind so many memories. Can you believe I left the new owners a gift and letter the day we moved....I never even met them...but I wanted to welcome them to a home that had been filled with so much love.
Anyway, want to share two verses with you. May they encourage your heart.
Acts 17:26 "...He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live."
Renee....God has always known where you'll live - so don't let anything steal your trust and hope in Him...no missing "Under Contract" sign - nothing - God is bigger than that!
Isaiah 32:18 "My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." You are His child. He loves you. He's going to give you a peaceful, secure, undisturbed place of rest.
Keep believing God.
Hugs,
Joy
PS. A couple of days ago I wrote a post entitled "Coming Home" on my blog - if you have time, drop by and read it. Home is with God.
Love your honesty and to see how you work through this. Can't wait to hear how it ends! Because I know God has a great plan for you!
I will pray for your family. May God bless you abundantly!
Renee,
I came to your personal blog from Proverbs 31. Thanks for sharing all the exciting events that are happening in your life at this time. Your love and faithfulness for Christ shine through your writings. It is obvious that God has great things planned for you. I will pray for you and your family as new journeys begin.
Jill
Renee,
You sweet heart just shines though your blog. It's hard sometimes to know exactly what to do. I'm praying for you all that God will make it VERY visible what path to take.
Your home is so important what an example you are setting to others how to pray about where they live.
Have a great weekend!
Jen
Renee:
Thank you for your raw vulnerability. Putting words to issues of faith / emotions is sometimes risky business, but others glean so much from such honesty.
Keep trusting and believing God for his perfect will. How wonderful to be blessed with husbands who pray...who make it easy for us to fall under their leadership.
peace~elaine
I can see this is the beginning of a great story of God's plan unfolding for your family.
Thank you for sharing it with us!
Renee,
You have been in my thoughts and prayers. It often seems in my life when I have a real 'spiritual' high, I then face some pretty big trials as well.
We returned from a wonderful family trip to Florida, and visit at P31 :) to finding out that our second car needs a new muffler system, the side door of our garage has been in bad shape, but when my husband opened it to work on the car, the frame had rotted so much that he couldn't even close the door anymore. These things were very frustrating for my husband because our finances are extremely tight right now. Our trip to Florida was a step in faith that God would provide for our needs for the trip, and then we came home to unforseen expenses. My husband was feeling quite discouraged. I reminded him that God is not surprised by the things that are happening. We stopped and prayed together.
I pray that God will continue to open and close doors to where He wants you to be and that you are faithful in following Him as well as JJ.
Blessings,
Jodie "Pearls"
Wow! What a journey! God bless you! I think I'm a lot like the woman at the well. I don't have an "ugly" past. But, it's bad enough I want to share but afraid to. Thank goodness, before Him, I am totally hollow and open. He can read me. Today, God showed me something I wanted to see! I know He is good-not just because He showed me this thing today-but because His love is consistant and abundant for me.
Today, I'm at the well, drawing water again. Knowing that He holds the living water in His hands, I'm confident He will not let me be put to shame. He'll give me answers I need to suffice my hunger for today. Today, I'm drawing my bucket into His living well-knowing that He's supplier of my needs.
Sharing in your moments of deep thoughts, Shoua
Thank you, Renee for this message. You are always so transparent which is so encouraging to me.
This message confirmed some decisions I needed to get off the fence about and take a run for God. He really does want us to run after our hearts' desires because He gave us those desires. I pray that He will bless you and your family with that house on the hill and all the babies your hearts desire.
May you be blessed!
Monica
I have no problem believing for others as I intercede. I KNOW who my God is and when I hear His leading in how to pray for them I am VERY confident in my prayers. When it comes to my own life, when I'm not quite so sure of what I have heard or maybe its a time of stepping out without clear whispers from Him---it is much harder to believe. Without knowing your circumstances I still know our God, He has perfect timing, He knows what is best and He KNOWS ALL SORTS OF STUFF we don't know yet. Things that will protect you from potential future problems, things that will WOW you that you can not even imagine, things that realtors will be confounded over (He moves on our behalf)---He knows it all. Praying for peace and enough faith to believe He has your best at heart---for your good and His glory.
Renee,
I so thankful for your honest and open heart. As a young woman, hoping in God for some really big things right now, this posting is such an encouragement. I am thankful for God's hand in your life and how He deplays His goodness through your writings. Keep hoping and praying. God knows our hearts.
In His hand,
Danielle
It is so wonderful that you allowed us to go through this faith walk with you.
How awesome that your husband came home with those words.You no longer have to fret!
We move on an average of every 2 years with my husbands job. Usually he has to leave before me and the 3 kids. Moving is hard.
God WILL place you where you are meant to be.
Have you read Lysa's blog the last couple of days? If you haven't, go check it out....Our God CAN do anything!!
Praying for you, Cheri
Thanks for sharing your journey...I have enjoyed reading it. I so appreciate your heart! You seem to be the real deal...very authentic and I so love that. I am looking forward to seeing what God does in and through you during this whole process.
I'm sorry you are going through emotional ups and downs with this but know that God is doing exactly as He had planned with your heart.
Hang in there...
Renee,
I appreciate you so much! Thanks for being real and vulnerable with us. It is so nice that we serve a big God - who knows us and our desires completely. I'm excited to see what He has in store for you and your family.
Renee, you put into words more elequently than mine, the feelings that so many of us face as we go through times of testing and uncertainty. Thank you for expressing these emotions in such a way that those of us going through this sort of thing can benefit from your faithfullness to your husband and God's Hand in leading you.
This was just the message that many of us your readers, myself especially needed to hear this week.
Keeping you in prayer as you face "under contract" giants, and run towards them with sling in hand. I love that story, just read it this morning in my personal Bible study.
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